If you ever meet me and my husband, you would immediately know which one of us is the social butterfly.
And it’s definitely not me.
My husband almost never meets a stranger. He can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with anyone. Next thing you know, he’s inviting them over, grabbing a bite with them, or hanging out at their house.
Everywhere I go, I notice people who are the same way. They develop friendships so easily.
It’s a little harder for me.
I’m an only child who spent the bulk of my childhood alone. Alone with my thoughts. Not having to keep anyone else entertained but me. And honestly, I’ve always liked it that way. Until recently.
Now I want true friendships.
Don’t get me wrong, I had my share of friends growing up. However, they weren’t the typical friendships that young girls have. No daily phone conversations, visits, sleepovers, or even trips to the mall. Instead, we just saw each other in class, at work or during extracurricular activities.
I thought that these circumstantial relationships would just magically turn into great friendships.
But I was wrong.
To this day, I only have one “close” friend from high school and two “close” friends from college. And I use word “close” loosely because I’ve only spoken to them an average of two to three times a year since we graduated. Other friends, I only communicate with on Facebook. Still, each time we talk — no matter how long it’s been — we always go right back to where we left off. But in the in-between time, there’s no current circumstance keeping us tied together. We all have different lives with different careers, new friends and homes that aren’t even in the same state.
True friendships can’t be neglected like that. They have to be cultivated.
For me, that means calling the friends who ask me to give them a call, and not waiting a year to do it. It also means just picking up the phone to call the friends who haven’t asked me to call them. And it wouldn’t hurt to re-connect with some of my friends who are here with me.
I often blame my work schedule for my lack of keeping in touch with friends. But I’ve realized it’s no one’s fault but my own.
Anyone who values a friendship will make time for it.
And I’m no exception.
“true friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not.”
How do you make time for your friends?