I Just Want To Paint

I just want to paint.

I have friends and family who know how to create such beauty with a brush stroke. But I think I’m scared.

And a little too critical. I refuse to let myself be free, seeing the boldness of color on a white canvas.

And I refuse to let myself just mix the paints, and change the plan as I go.

I didn’t worry about these things when I was younger.

Now I shake, wanting to keep my hand steady, and avoid any mistakes. Not used to the fluidity of the bristles on a brush.

I find safety in art with a pencil, where I can guide myself with a faint stroke, and easily erase what I don’t like. And everything is in shades of gray so nothing stands out too much.

Sometimes I long for that rigid pencil point.

In fact, I think I’ve come to rely on it, on being able to control it.

Hopefully, one day I’ll be able to loosen up a bit, and go with the flow of each brush stroke without fear.

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I’m joining Lisa-Jo Baker today for Five Minute Friday.
Here’s how it works: Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. And you can join too. Just click the button to learn how.

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