The lanes narrowed as level land turned into rounded curves moving uphill. I waited for the high beams to see the stretch of road in front of me. Then I gripped my seat, clenched my teeth, and started reaching for the imaginary brake.
“Slow down,” I whispered for about the twentieth time.
Occasionally I would unclench my teeth to laugh at my husband, who would slow down the car and dramatically throw his arm across my chest, mimicking my frenzied behavior. But at one point, he looked at me and said, “Why are you worrying? What can you do?”
I knew I didn’t have a logical explanation, but I tried to defend myself anyway, by saying I couldn’t see and assuming his vision was as poor as mine.
I tried to relax, but it wasn’t ten minutes before I sank into my seat and my foot found the imaginary brake again. I even questioned whether we were heading in the right direction.
He didn’t look at me that time, nor any of the other times I freaked out.
He just continued driving and later said, “You’re going to learn to trust me one day.”
I would love to say my anxiety stopped right then and there. But it didn’t. Not until we got to our destination, I saw my friends and their precious babies, and daylight showed a view that was more beautiful than I imagined and more peaceful than I ever expected.
I do trust my husband, but I clearly didn’t show it during the trip up to that mountain cabin.
And I think it’s a lot like what can happen to Christians when we find ourselves embarking on new territory.
We claim to believe in God, but at times our actions show we don’t fully trust Him to direct our paths. We hold on to things when we should let them go; we hesitate; and we try to call the shots — all because we can’t see what’s ahead.
We do this without realizing those moments only we show God how much we don’t believe that He’s given us the gift of grace through faith; and that He promises to act (Psalm 37:5), make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6), be our shield (Proverbs 30:5), and be our everlasting rock (Isaiah 26:4) when we put our trust in Him. The things that can help us make it through those rough uphill treks.
I guess, sometimes God has to take us up a mountain kicking and screaming so we can experience the beauty of what’s on the other side, and grow our trust.
We’ll learn one day, right?